It’s the saga of the Empty-Nester. How can it be? Summer comes to an end and we are sending our almost-all-grown-up kids off into their next big adventure – college! Can you believe it? Where did their senior year go? How do you wrap your mind around this?
I couldn’t be more proud of my two daughters going off to college. They are everything to me. I have been so busy this past year working and helping them through the chaos of high school’s senior year, the reality of an empty nest hasn’t sunk in. It was kind of a blur. We slogged through studying for SATs, SAT tests, water polo tournaments, Homecomings, finals, drivers’ education, driving practice with me (absolute terror…!), driving tests, college applications, visiting colleges, college admissions, senior projects, college decisions, proms, end of year events, graduations, parties, prepping for college, buying a gazillion things for their schools, traveling to their campuses and forms, and finally, saying goodbye. Oh my!
But suddenly, my heart is gripped with a strange melancholy. Where there was once noise and happy chaos in my home, silence reigns. This is going to take some getting used to…. My babies have flown, my nest is empty. I send them off with endless love and support. I’m extremely proud to watch them soar. And now, I reinvent myself in this world. We are all three off on new journeys of exploration. Amazing.
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1, 2, buckle your shoe! Floods of memories, floods of tears. Rapid-fire memories: baby being born, 1st sight of baby, baby being placed into my arms, loving this baby, eyes opening, dark blue eyes. The wonder at the first glimpse of this world.
First first first: First school, first grade, first time to buckle that shoe! 3, 4, shut the door! Those slamming doors! So much noise. Can’t get away from it. 5,6, pick up sticks! They start to learn skills. They start to become little people, not just babies.
7,8 lay them straight! But what if they don’t lay them straight? What if they lay them crooked? What if they lay them sideways? Thinking differently and different ways of thinking and it’s all okay. It’s okay, it’s okay, It’s okay. We’ll figure out a path. We’ll find a new school. We’ll get through this together. And we do! If we’re lucky, we stumble upon a school or even a single teacher that understands our children and how they learn.
9,10, do it over again! And again, and again, and again. However many times it takes until those kids become experts. And they do and they learn, and we learn too! And suddenly, suddenly, they’re out the door. Out the door and flying the nest!
But where does that leave us? At home with the nest – a nest that oddly seems smaller and rather dingy around the edges. And that strange, unsettled feeling like we’re forgetting something. Where did those children go? Where did those big eyes go? The sticky little fingers, those adorable wee toes – gone gone gone! Where did childhood go? How did it unfold so quickly? Just when we were getting the hang of it, it has come to an end and they’re off on their next adventure. And so are we!
9, 10 do it over again! And we do it over again and again and again, and we step into the next chapter of our lives – empty nesters watching our children move into their future. 9, 10, do it over again! Eventually, there will be grandchildren, and we may fall onto this circular journey of life once more, but in a different capacity. 9, 10, do it over again.
I would do it over and over and over again – even though it was so much work and heartache and pain. Even though! There was also loads of love and laughter. Don’t forget that. How lucky we all are. 9, 10, do it over again…. Yes.